Realizations 

Dass pass by. Yesterday,today and tomorrow. In continuous cycle. Fulfilling their duties in wheel of life. Life will go on just like our days. There are days which seem to have differ from each other. While most of the days, they seem the same just the dates have changed. We go on with life as life goes on. The exam dates seems to appear nearer, the weekends seems to come nearer and never knew when weekdays appear again. Salary appears in crease of our hands and we never knew when another month has begun again and  with the new month, the same salary has again slipped from our hands, awaiting to come, just very far from our sight for now.

 Rushing to get home, rushing to get up to get away from home. We are contented with life so do we seem but then we struggle to fall asleep in night and to wake up in morning. We loathe mornings, we loathe weekdays. We don’t like our jobs. We don’t like our studies.  Life goes on and so do we fulfilling respective duties. 

Holding on to hurt, holding onto grudges, holding onto shame, holding onto prejudices, holding onto fear, holding onto anxiety,  holding onto the melancholy, holding onto the hope we passed this day, holding onto the guilt a day has gone again loathing again for the next day to come. 

Each emotions magnifying with each day to appear. They don’t seem to disappear, they seem to be here exactly as we are. Passing time seems hard, then the same time seems to slip out of hand without our knowledge, doing things that we don’t want to do.

Day by day we become sadder as we progress as if it has been responsibility of us to stay alive somehow. When has life became like this we lash out. We don’t like how life is going. Then it is going same way. We try then we stop trying. We live as we are made to live. Such a sad way it has become, as we mindlessly try to suppress the anxiety watching videos after videos, reels after reels.

When have we become like this? What has become of us? Are we alive or have we become dead or have we become a zombie? The anxiety. The emotions. They are too much. There must be a way out. But then we forget to find the way out the emotions are too endearing, we become used to it, we go on as the wheels of life in today, turning to yesterday and leaping in to the next tomorrow along with life forgetting life while living. 

One of these days, as I lay in home due to an accident, making way to bed, I remember the time I had spent in Emergency Room. We were posted in orthopaedics and my resident senior at the time had counseled the patient party that he was trauma doctor on duty for 24 hours so he will still be there to assure the patient that he will be there for them whether it be day or night. As I recall with this word “trauma”, how unfortunately we recently lost one of our orthopedic surgeon in an airplane crash. We lost all the people in board in an instant. They were traveling for festival. All the people on board. Including the influencer that I loved. She had just paid her loan after working hard day and night and was awaiting to start making her dreams come true. Our orthopedic surgeon had travelled with his small son. Other son and daughters were also traveling to meet their families in the festivity. However, all gone in an instant. Upon hearing the news, the nation became pale in shock.  There was festival going on and here an unfortunate tragedy we never could fathom. And I remember searching his name and seeing his bio as working as orthopedics and trauma surgery. Reminding me now how unfortunate the whole event was and making me deeply realize now all of sudden how fragile our life really is. 

This could be my last breath. This could be our last moment. I may not wake up tomorrow. Tomorrow isn’t promised. Then why, why do we take this breath for granted? Why do we carry onto emotions that hurt us or the judgements of the past that cripple us into making us think we cannot do anything? Why? Why do we forget the beauty of today as if we would live life forever?

The realizations slowly settles and my heart swell with anguish thinking how precious life is and how I foolish I had been in spending it in things that won’t even matter at the end. The big emotions that seem now is not at all big. This could be my last breath. Imagine in our death beds, would we remember of all the people that hurt us, that punished us, that have grudges with us, that we have grudges with? No, not at all. We would have forgotten in instant and we would be begging with life and god for another moment just to express how thankful we are to our parents, to our siblings, to our close friends, to our loved ones, to our pet that how worthwhile they made my life even when I hadn’t thought all the time I was alive. We wouldn't remember all these tragedies and melodies. Instead we would beg god to give us a minute just to hold our loved ones' hands and tell them how much we love them and wish to live longer now with a grateful heart without having remorse at all. 

And that’s what matters in life. Not these competitions, quarrels, past tragedies, triggers, injustices, prejudices, judgements, grudges, and fear. Life isn’t really as long as we think, my dear. One moment we are fine then the next moment we won’t be. We may struggle to take our last breath. We haven’t seen it but it will surely come, we don’t know when and it means it can come anytime.

So, let's please be happy, let's please be glad. Let’s erase every negative emotions from our heart. We aren’t meant to hold it, our human heart, because we won’t even remember it in our death bed either. All we want is peace and heart to love. Let us not postpone. Let’s do things when we can. Let’s love and spread love while we still have life, do things when we still have breathe. Let’s not spend our precious breath in fostering hatred and bitterness for anyone, not in our heart, not in our mind and not in our souls. Let’s spread kindness, the love we have within us. For we know, tomorrow isn’t promised. Never at all. 

Let’s live life when we can and make most of it 

while we can :)