A sense of relief during hard times

Relief seems like a scarce word right now. And getting a sense of relief even scarcer especially during hard times like these. It seems like a dark endless tunnel. But it's only during hard times like this, it inspires us to look for ways and hopefully come out on the other side of the tunnel much stronger.
A sense of relief during hard times



 If people opened up, we would know that in fact we all are the same, fighting unknown battles in our own life and struggling to keep ourselves happy. As hard it is to admit but we all do have problems in our life. Little does the world know, we are so full of such a diverse emotion. It remains hidden very well in every one of us. However, we justify ourselves in order to be strong, we don’t need to show our emotions, we don’t need to accept it, we don’t need to admit it and we beat ourselves for having it. We feel ashamed. We pretend like it doesn’t exist at all. We feel lacking. We feel like a failure. We are unhappy yet pretending to be happy. We think we are the only one caught in the midst of all problems while other people are living such a flawless life.
When I see my friends, seniors and juniors who have achieved such a great achievement, I can’t help but admire them. And one time, my friend who is very good in her field opened up and shared about looking at self help and compassion videos, I could admire and respect her even more because of her courage. Not everyone can do so. I could empathize with her more because despite how everyone could see she had everything others dream of, she also struggles to keep her happy. She worked really hard for her achievements. But she was looked at as a different person by the crowd of people just because she was at the top. But she was human like us. Just because she worked hard to reach that level of success doesn’t mean she is not immune to feelings of being unhappy and shouldn't be judged just because of her achievements. She may be struggling too.
A sense of relief during hard times

 I am no exception. I do have problems in my life. I am also not immune for having emotions, struggling and now showing I don’t have too. One time, I was having a hard time coping up with emotions. I then called my friend who is often very calm and whom I confide in. I told her what the situation was and why I was feeling so. She told me she also felt like that during time like that. Just hearing that gave me such a relief. We talked about the situation and talked about solutions that could be applied. I realized she also had problems, she was also struggling but she didn’t use to show.  In my case, I also didn’t usually share what problems I had. I would talk about other happy things but not what I was struggling with. It felt uncomfortable. It was hard. I felt it would make me look weak. Having talked to her, it’s been days I am feeling fine. I understood the power of vulnerability. Being vulnerable isn’t a weak thing. But it doesn’t come easily where we have been told it’s not okay to show others you are crying or you are having a hard time. That day I also realized while she was solving my problem, she was also in a different problem herself. We both talked and solved it. We both felt happy to help each other. I realized I wasn’t alone. And just that realization gave me a sense of relief.
Unfortunately in this era, we would look cool if we show we don’t care, we don’t feel anything at all, we are always happy. We would look down upon others who showed having hard times as being a cry baby. We may get temporary happiness in disregarding other feelings and acting ourselves as superior but in the end we fall ourselves into our own trap. When it comes to our own, we would eventually disregard our feelings and be hard on ourselves. I have seen people who are very happy and I feel that they don’t have any problems at all. But that thinking was a problem itself. As, once I initiate conversations with them and know them well, they have problems too and they have survived unfathomable problems no one could have ever imagined. Through the pain, they learn how to live with life. Time and again, I realized there is suffering in life. Our tendency is that we only want good. We want to omit suffering as much as possible. But it is part of life. When we suffer we come out strong from the other side. And when we try to omit this suffering part then we end up suffering in life.
A sense of relief during hard times

Through all these, I understood we all have problems even if no one is willing to show it. So, should we be mad at everyone? No. It has become a societal norm to show only the good side so let’s not blame people. No wonder we beat ourselves for not being happy because it has been a norm. I am no exception as I mentioned before. These problems, but however big they seem, are there to make us strong. Never say you wish to be someone else or you have something that someone has.It assumes their life is so flawless and yours as the flawed one. Thinking so makes you feel hopeless and not actively work towards making your life better. Everyone looks flawless but it isn’t so. It doesn’t however, give you reason to be happy thinking others also have problems too. But it does give us reason to be kinder. We never know what someone is going through. It gives us reason to ourselves to be kinder to ourselves. We wouldn’t push this narrative we need to feel great all the time. Also, by asking help, we can get insights of solving it too. It takes one human to understand another human. What I have learnt the most from my life was to speak up when I was feeling bad to my loved ones. My family and my friends have listened to me without judgement and supported and helped me so much through ups and downs and I am always grateful to them. Problems come, problems go. We shouldn't let it own us instead conquer it as it comes.
 And it’s okay if we are not used to opening up. It takes courage and people who you can really confide in and who understands you. Trusting ourselves that we will be fine even if we show our vulnerable side and expressing to people whom we are already familiar and trust is the first step. It's up to us what we are willing to tell and what not to. We may have been wounded in past because of trusting wrong people. We shouldn't be however ashamed of our feelings and hold ourselves back. It’s okay even if you can’t open up for now. I am sure anyone who is reading this has overcome such a great deal of obstacles or is fighting an unknown battle that we don’t know. It’s okay. I wrote this just to remind you, you are not alone. We all have problems in life and it's easily masked these days. So, Let’s not judge each other and ourselves as well.  It takes a human to understand another human. Humans need each other to feel comforted.  If we could freely open up, we could have empathized each other really well. So, it’s okay. If it is getting hard, it’s okay to get help from friends and professional help too.
The acceptance of the existence of problems however doesn’t magically solve problems. It shouldn’t excuse us from taking problems as obvious things and avoiding them in order to be happy. No. That will create even more problems. So we should actively look into solving them. There are problems that we can change some we can't. We should focus on what we can change and accept what we can't. Most of the time the problem can be in our thinking as well. We should look at our thinking. What are we telling ourselves? We shouldn’t think only we are suffering. As I said we aren’t alone. This thinking however doesn’t mean to devalue and discard your emotions and your problems. It is okay to feel emotions. Feeling emotions is not a problem. It can be a solution. It is uncomfortable, I know.  But instead of feeling them and taking actions, if we keep on feeling pity on ourselves for having problems, we will let the situation define us rather than us defining the situation. We should also focus on solving problems not only focusing on problems now that we are aware. Thinking changes our feelings, our feelings change our behaviors. So, always look at what narrative you are telling yourself, challenge it and keep going. And if it gets hard, It’s not bad to ask for help.
A sense of relief during hard times

As much as words have hurting power, I know they do have healing power too. We all need reminders from time to time. Reminders are good because we also tend to forget. It takes only a few words to remind us that we are not alone when we are going through hard times. And those words immensely provide a great sense of relief. Especially right now we all are far from each other. Let's be more kind and compassionate for ourselves and others. Let's take care of ourselves Let's reach out to our loved ones.

Now, whenever I look at other people every time, I can imagine there is a person who also has problems in life yet showing up. Yes you, you are a warrior my friend. And my all respect is with you. Keep going and I wish you all the best. Take care 

 I hope my article A sense of relief during hard times helps you. I would love to hear from you too. You can write feedback below. Thank you for taking time to read. I have written similar articles like The healing power of being alone and 12 ways to stay calm no matter what . Feel free to go through them too.  If you like the post, sharing the post will mean a lot to me. Thank you. Stay safe.




















3 Comments

  1. Great post. It is interesting as well as meaningful .Keep it up!!

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  2. So beautifully written 👍 touchy words.. loved it! Keep going Aakriti 👍

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